"Are you kidding me, the mayor of Wasilla, Alaska? Yeah, that's who you want in the White House during a time of crisis. When she got a phone call at 3 in the morning, it was because a moose had gotten in the garbage can." -Bill Maher
"There was some breaking news out of Dayton, Ohio today, where Republican presidential candidate John McCain introduced the world to his third wife." -Jon Stewart
"Actually, it was kind of a smart choice. McCain went with a woman because he didn't want to have to be in a position to have to get CPR from Mitt Romney." -Jay Leno
"Palin and McCain are a good pair. She's pro-life and he's clinging to life." -Jay Leno
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